


Sine Qua Non

by TheKnitterati



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, Injured Kylo, M/M, Mentions Of Other SW Characters, Post-Battle of Starkiller Base, Prompt Fill, Tumblr Ask Box Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-07 16:59:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14085468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheKnitterati/pseuds/TheKnitterati
Summary: Hux retrieves Ren from the crumbling surface of Starkiller Base. Ren realizes that Hux cares about more than Ren’s injuries.Excerpt:Ren watched as Hux alternated between examining his wounds and turning to the medkit and pulling items out. The expression on Hux’s face was new to Ren. It wasn’t his typical sneer. He looked tense, which was not new, but there was no anger, no superiority behind it.“General...why are you here?”Hux tipped his head slightly, looking puzzled.“We just rescued you, Ren. I assumed it was evident that your retrieval is why I am here.”





	Sine Qua Non

**Author's Note:**

  * For [oorsprong](https://archiveofourown.org/users/oorsprong/gifts).



> Originally a short ficlet on my Tumblr, in response to a lovely prompt in the ol ask box from [Gentleman-Caller.](http://gentleman-caller.tumblr.com/)
> 
> “Imagine Kylo and Hux’s first kiss. It’s not passionate or meditated or even expected. It’s just a quick brush of lips and a lot of stammering and half-apologies until Kylo has to kiss him to shut him up. And then again for good measure.”
> 
> I looooooooooved this idea. And felt maybe it should be longer. So here we are.

The first sensation that registered with Ren was cold. He felt cold, everywhere. His clothes were damp and heavy on his skin; the clammy, icy, wet of them sinking into his very bones. He remembered snow. All around him, snow.

Following quickly, the next sensation was pain. It chased the cold away immediately, overtaking everything. It seared hot and burning along his face. It pulsed, blinding and red from his side. He remembered blood. Blood in the snow. His blood; pooled crimson on the white snow.

Ren's eyes snapped open as he felt the vibration of the shuttle. His thoughts were scattered everywhere, going a million directions at light speed. He took a breath to calm his mind, and used the pause to determine where he was. Ren was reclining, on a bunk, and the vibration he already recognized as a shuttle lifting off. The matte black decor indicated this was a First Order vessel, which eased his mind. At least he had not been abducted by the enemy.

The pain was making him nauseous even just lying still, so sitting up was – for the moment – out of the question. As Ren lay there, willing his roiling stomach to calm, he sought the memories of what had happened that resulted with him in such a state. Almost immediately he came up against resistance as he probed his mind. He could feel a block, rough and crude, like a hastily constructed wall. Ren realized he must have erected it as a weak attempt to protect himself from these memories. 

Drawing a deep breath that made the wound in his side flare like he was aflame, he channeled his focus and pushed against the blockage. Ren felt it give slightly beneath the pressure. He exhaled roughly and drew a breath for another attempt. 

This time the wall shattered, and the memories rushed back, overwhelming him. He squeezed his eyes closed, hoping to slow the onslaught of images flooding him. 

Lights. Snow. Crossed sabers. Red. The girl. Darkness. Trees. Chewbacca. Red. The traitor. A chasm. Red. Han Solo. Red. His father. Red. Red. Red…

His eyes snapped open. Ren had been on Starkiller Base… He had killed his father even as the man had said it was not too late to come home; been shot by the Wookiee who was like family to him; battled the traitor FN-2187 and the scavenger girl. The base was crumbling, imploding…how was he even alive?

He recalled getting the lightsaber slash across his face, which continued down his shoulder. An angry gift from the girl, Rey. She was strong, stronger than he had anticipated. 

The wound in his side; how Chewbacca’s bowcaster shot had pierced him in the torso; deep, and painful, and messy. Yet not fatal. For Chewie to miss that shot...Chewie, who was an excellent marksman...Ren squeezed his eyes closed against the tide of emotions that surged in him. Not now. He’d think on that later. The numerous minor wounds, bruises and such were like embroidery decorating the tapestry of pain already on his body. 

With a hiss, the door to the cramped rack room opened and General Hux swept in. His green eyes widened, taking Ren in. His lips parted, but no words came. Instead he dropped to a crouch beside Ren and carefully began to pull supplies from a medkit. 

“You’re awake, that’s an improvement over when we brought you aboard. Well done.” Hux didn’t look at Ren as he spoke, but continued to pull items from the kit. 

“I remember being on Starkiller Base,” Ren said, his voice shaking more than he expected. 

“Yes. It…well it is gone now. Starkiller.” Hux sounded disappointed. No, Ren thought, he sounds sad. His shot at glory, his big accomplishment, was destroyed in what must have been less than an hour or two. 

“The rebels will pay for the destruction of your efforts. As soon as I am recovered, I shall make them pay.” 

The corners of Hux’s lips quirked upwards just the smallest amount, but that was gratifying enough for Ren. 

“Well. While I would like nothing more than extracting some delicious revenge on those rebel scum, at the moment we need to get you healing. These wounds are fairly severe, Ren.” Hux wrinkled his nose in concern as he leaned in close to the wound in Ren’s side. 

Ren watched as Hux alternated between examining his wounds and turning to the medkit and pulling items out. The expression on Hux’s face was new to Ren. It wasn’t his typical sneer. He looked tense, which was not new, but there was no anger, no superiority behind it.

“General...why are you here?” 

Hux tipped his head slightly, looking puzzled.

“We just rescued you, Ren. I assumed it was evident that your retrieval is why I am here.”

“But...why would you even bother? Wasn’t it a terrible risk to take for one person, even for someone as powerful as I? To be honest, I would have assumed you’d be delighted to leave me to die there.”

Hux’s red-gold eyebrows had climbed most of his forehead by the time Ren finished speaking.

“Delighted to leave you to die? Surely you know that I treat my military assets better than that, Ren.” Hux had a pair of small sharp looking shears in his hand, and he began slicing through Ren’s destroyed tunic so he could get at his injuries.

“I’m not a military asset, Hux.”

Hux gave a tiny shrug, his lips pursed.

“Regardless. If nothing else I think of you as valuable crew, not to be abandoned on the battlefield. Now stop blathering on, let me deal with this mess you’ve made of yourself.” 

Ren could hear it in Hux’s tone. The tiniest bit of fear. He didn’t intend to reach out to Hux’s mind, curiosity simply took over. It only took the slightest touch with the Force to see it, it was everywhere in Hux’s thoughts. 

“You...you are concerned. About me.” Ren tried to keep the surprise from his voice. 

Hux snapped his gaze to meet Ren’s, his mouth forming a little “o” shape.

“Of course I am, you are my co-commander, Ren. Your skills are valuable to the First Order, and Supreme Leader Snoke was quite clear that you were to be retrieved from Starkiller Base and brought to him right away.” 

Hux busied himself with peeling the torn edges of Ren’s tunic away and applying bacta pads to the bowcaster wound in his side. Ren watched, entranced by how gently Hux was touching him, as if he feared causing any further pain. 

“Hux.”

“Hmmm?” 

“I don’t understand. Even if you were ordered to retrieve me, you did not need to do this yourself. Or even come along.” Ren was trying to put words to the emotions he was feeling. They kept slipping through his fingers, like water. There was a warmth in his chest that had nothing to do with the bacta now seeping through his system. What he had glimpsed in Hux’s mind was not following orders, protecting assets, or any of these weak excuses. 

“Of course I did. You are vital to the success of the First Order. I need…WE need you and your skills to see us on to victory. This rescue was critical, it could not be botched. It was best for me to oversee it personally.” Hux was now pressing thin strips of bacta along the lightsaber burns on Ren’s shoulder, the fingers of his free hand skimming through the loose fall of Ren’s hair as he worked. 

Ren sighed, savoring the feeling of Hux’s touch. It had been so long since he had made real physical contact with another person. Fighting, of course, didn’t count. While aboard the _Finalizer_ on a daily basis he was covered head to toe. Even accidental skin to skin contact with someone onboard wasn’t possible. Hux’s ungloved fingers dancing over Ren’s skin felt like tiny sparks of electricity, filling him with pleasant sensation. 

Hux had moved to the wound streaked across Ren’s face, his fingertips gently probing over it. 

“I’m out of bacta, there was not that much in the medkit. This appears cauterized - I think it can wait until we get back to the _Finalizer_.” Hux stroked Ren’s hair back from his forehead absently, as his eyes danced over Ren’s wounds, seeking anywhere else he could treat. 

Ren was so starved for touch, so desperate for Hux to keep his hands on him, that he nearly wished for more injuries. 

“You didn’t come because someone else might screw up. Or because I am important to the Order. You came because you were afraid I was dead. You came because you care for me.” Ren watched Hux’s face as he spoke, fearful despite knowing what he’d seen. 

Hux sighed, and met Ren’s eyes. He shoved a hand through his hair; it’s carefully gelled precision had long ago given up and it now fell across Hux’s forehead repeatedly, despite his constant swipes through it. 

“I don’t want to discuss this now, you need rest. Your wounds are serious. We must get you back to the _Finalizer_.” Hux stood, then bent low over Ren and kissed him tenderly on the lips. 

Hux recoiled immediately, stammering apologies as a bright pinkish flush crept from under his uniform collar and proceeded up his cheeks. 

“I am...that was entirely...that is to say I did not...I simply...” Hux looked mortified, his eyes huge and round as if he’d kissed a rathtar instead of Ren. 

Ren knew he was about to bolt. His hand shot out and gripped firm around Hux’s wrist, and began drawing him back down to him. 

“Shhhh. Stop talking.” Ren caught Hux’s chin in his hand. “No more words.”

Ren guided Hux’s lips to his own, trying to calm his rapidly pounding heart as he felt Hux relaxing into their kiss. 

He felt giddy, despite his injuries, despite the loss of Starkiller Base. Finally they had both admitted they were two halves of one whole, that they belonged with one another, and together they would be unstoppable.

**Author's Note:**

> Sine Qua Non - “without which, not”. I very much headcanon that without each other, neither of these two will ever succeed.
> 
> I'm on Tumblr if you would like to visit - [TheKnitterati](http://theknitterati.tumblr.com/)


End file.
